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What do you do when the apple hits the fan?

Every teacher THOUGHT they knew how to teach…before they found themselves in a chaotic and uncivilized classroom, staring at a stack of papers to grade, a list of seventeen parents to call, new curriculum strategies to implement, and a looming standardized test on the horizon.

Education is an easy place to get lost, but there is hope! The Ultimate Survival Guide for Teachers is full of hilarious, heartwarming, and real stories that will empower you to make the most of your classroom. This is not a book about teaching strategies or curriculum breakthroughs. Instead, it offers a practical message that is inspirational, informative, and unlike most educational goals: obtainable. A must read for every educator trying to make a difference in the wild, untamed American classroom.




“I rarely read books cover-to-cover, especially in one night.  But, I couldn’t put it down.” – Teacher, TN

“This book is hilarious! Any teacher will relate!” - Teacher, IL

“Every member of my faculty can benefit from reading this book. I loved it!” - Principal, TN

“It made me reflect….really think about why I do what I do.” - Teacher, CA

“I laughed out loud numerous times while reading it.” - Principal, TN

“Scotty & Rob share several anecdotes that will resonate with any teacher—regardless of grade level.” – Professor, IN



Introduction: Getting lost in the wilderness

SURVIVING: Learning how to lead your classroom instead of leave your classroom

1. Dirty Diapers and Dirty Words: Maintaining your sense of humor and remembering to have fun 

2. Mad Skills: Teaching to your personality and utilizing your unique strengths

3. Cool Teachers Don’t Have Any Rules: Coping with classroom management

4. Time Bomb: Controlling your time so it doesn’t control you

5. Get a Life! Having a life outside of school

ARRIVING: Making the choice to be more than mediocre

6. They Snooze, You Lose: Learning how to keep your students awake, engaged, and excited about class

7. Time Well Wasted: Making part of your classroom about them

8. “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” Learning how to make allies instead of enemies with parents

9. “I fought the law, and the law won.” Surviving the latest trends and the evaluation process

10. My Classroom, My Kingdom: Ruling well in your classroom, your school, and your community

THRIVING: Leaving a legacy that goes beyond learning

11. “Encourage or End-Courage?” Embracing the power of encouragement

12. Bad Apples? Recognizing what makes your students who they are

13. From Bad Days to Burning Out to Being Real: Teaching when “real life” gets in the way

14. Mission Impossible: Engaging passion and purpose, and learning how to leave a legacy

Final Word: So you think you can teach?